Episode 4- Karrikin Spirits: 8.1
Tucked into an East Cincy industrial park, this gem of a distillery/brewery has a burger that just might entice you off the beaten path...
In a world where first impressions matter so much (plastic surgery: $20 billion industry; hair transplants: $10 billion industry; fake buttocks for Kardashians: $200 billion…), what do you do with a place that underpromises on the surface but consistently over-performs?
You eat their burger. That’s what you do.
Karrikin Spirits is a “full-service, grain to glass distillery producing handcrafted spirits, sparkling spirits, non-alcoholic sodas, and beer.” It has an interesting story (at least I assume it does, since it has its own page on their website). I did try to read it for you. It starts as follows:
Settled on the back end of the 18th century by Joseph Ferris, the Little Miami River valley — stretching from where it spills on the banks of the Ohio River, up through what we now know as Fairfax and Mariemont — was referred to as Whiskey Hollow by Ferris, a local farmer and corn whiskey…
That’s when I fell asleep. Unfortunately I’m not very interested in history. A better man can finish it for you and let you know the rest.
However, you may be interested to learn the meaning behind the name:
Karrikins are the elements found in the smoke from a forest fire that trigger the regeneration of that forest.
That plays into my bigger point. When you drive through a recently burned forest, you don’t see at first the regeneration in progress or the life about to burst from the seams. Not a great first impression. A burned-out forest would be a good metaphor for the surrounding warehouses you pass as you drive up to Karrikin Spirits Co. — warehouses which hide the amazing culinary life that is budding deep within.
There is nothing else pulling you to this secluded area of Cincinnati, unless of course you are going to Hyde Park Lumber & Design Center - a great place for all your DIY home renovation needs. (But did you ever say - honey let’s go get some cabinets and also some gin?) This is no OTR. It’s not Mt. Adams. No one lives here. There are no other restaurants around. It is not a “destination” in Cincinnati.
As you drive down Wooster Pike past these industrial buildings, you think, “Could this really be the right place? I’m not in the market for raw steel or widgets…” You can’t even see the restaurant from that main road; you have to spot the Karrikin Sign pointing you down an alley-like road around the back of some other warehouses.
When you park and walk in the front door, 9 times out of 10 you won’t notice anything amiss. You would be looking into their bar area with an open view of their distillery and brewery, high top tables, TV’s all around, and a good energy coming from the patrons. However, when we walked in on this occasion, we were assaulted by a very strong odor (imagine if bleach and rotting mushrooms had a baby and that baby had a dirty diaper…). It was either a unique distilling smell or a cleaning agent for their equipment. Whatever it was, it disqualified their bar area from consideration as a place to eat (We don’t think that odor is normal. It wasn’t there when we left, so we presume this is not the typical pungent welcome one would receive. We simply won the smelly lottery).
As far as first impressions go, Karrikin was not doing great.
So we headed past the bar and into the restaurant’s seating area. Fine with me, I knew where I wanted to sit. They have these big comfy couches where you can recline like Greek gods while you eat at coffee tables:
Well… maybe not exactly like Greek gods…
We almost missed out on this experience. One of our members *cough* Steve *cough* wanted to sit in the back of the restaurant at traditional tables in front of a giant projector screen playing some sportsball game.
Why did he want to do this? Was he afraid our company would be lousy? Would we need to distract ourselves by staring blankly at this game we cared nothing about? Unclear. But we were saved by the Picker of the Restaurant who decreed we would dine like kings in royal finery.
There he is, striding in to right the world’s wrongs.
Quick point of context: After each burger joint, a new Picker of the Restaurant is selected, often by random, and that person not only picks the next restaurant, they may determine everything from where we will sit to what we can or will eat. (They have great power, but with that comes great responsibility… but no web-slinging abilities)
Another contributor to our poor first impression: you can see there were not many people here. Hopefully this was an aberration, because as you will learn, this place deserves to have people knocking down its doors.
At any rate, our meal was saved, and we were able to lounge in comfort.
They have one burger, and it is advertised as: “avril bleh short rib patties” with “zesty mayo”. So that made ordering our main course simple. However, we couldn’t order only the burger. We had to try their spirits, a few other food offerings, their beer, etc. I recommend you do the same. Throughout our time, poor initial impressions were undercut by strong performance.
Our server (if you are reading this, you were awesome!) seemed detached at first but ultimately provided first-rate service.
The menu specified that the burger was a “short rib” patty, and I for one have never had short rib to write home about, so I was skeptical. (For those who don’t know, short rib is typically served after stewing for a long time — basically a pot roast. Yes it’s “tender”, but soak anything for long enough and it gets flaccid. Yuck.)
The first thing we tasted were the pork rinds, ordered by one of our team who wasn’t thinking straight that day *cough* Steve *cough*, and pork rinds will never win me over. But it only went up from there! One could argue the peak dish we tried was the last… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Underpromise — over-perform. It’s a recipe for success in my book!
Let’s go to the peanut gallery for their commentary.
DEEP THOUGHTS
Jack Handey: If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that’s what REALLY throws you into a panic.
Let’s hear what your panel of judges has to say about this establishment, as one-liner quotes in honor of “Deep Thoughts” by the unparalleled Jack Handey.
Nick: The burger has "bleh" in the description… hopefully that's not a bad indicator…
Mike: Hey guys, was that American cheese?
Josh: I stand by those fries -- the vinegar does it for me
Steve: I was wrong about where to sit. These couches are way better.
Scroll to the end for a very special Bonus Quote. We got wind that someone was unhappy with one of our reviews. Well, when a member who happens to be good friends with the long lost Teddy Roosevelt was commiserating over this response, the Rough Rider had some inspirational and funny words of wisdom for the burger club. You don’t want to miss this!
THE RATINGS
Since Karrikin Spirits is not a traditional burger joint, we had to try their homemade spirits, beers, and a few extra Tapas-style items. We did our best to sample the experience.
We tried their burger, of course, but we also tried their Brussel Sprouts, Pork Rinds, and Bread Pudding (I know! So exciting…). We had a flight of beer, a few different cocktails made with their homemade liquor, and we opted to pass on their sodas or sparkling drinks. I had been to Karrikin in the past when I swear they had alcoholic sodas, which were terrible, but I could not get confirmation. At any rate, if they did offer those, they wisely have discontinued that option.
A feast fit for a king. Let’s dig in.
Meat: 7.9
I thought love was only true in fairy tales. Meant for someone else but not for me.
Then I met the short rib patty. Yes, it was described in the menu as “avril bleh short rib patties”, and yes I have never met a short rib entree I enjoyed. (Even when the waiter says, “It’s soooo good!” Liars.)
When asked to prepare the patty “medium rare”, the server mentioned that they were thin “smashburger” style and would be well done. I was disheartened.
But then I bit into the burger. I don’t know if we got lucky, if the chef was looking out for us, or if they are always prepared this way, but that patty was medium. It was a thin patty, done up medium, and it was perfect. I’m a believer.
Now there were some who shared a concern that the meat-to-cheese-to-bun ratio was a little off. Too much meat. Not all were agreed on that topic however, and it could be that some of us were simply not manly enough to handle that much meat.
Bun: 8.2
This was a strong bun. Fluffy. Toasted. Buttered. Perfectly proportioned.
There are Sports Illustrated swimsuit models who would be embarrassed to be seen in the company of these buns. Just saying.
It would be interesting if it would hold up to a truly juicy burger. I think the bun benefited from holding smashburgers, which are not as inherently juicy as a thick burger. But this is a bun that knows what it needs to be, how much it needs to hold, and its role in the meal. Like a good bass player or a good drummer, it is not trying to steal the show.
Fixin’s: 7.8
Most of our party really enjoyed the zesty mayo. It was also a pleasant surprise to experience a double American cheese offering that didn’t feel like the cheese was overdoing it. We didn’t even realize it was American cheese until the end of the meal. That is saying something.
When our server discussed the menu, he mentioned the “fancy sauce” that accompanies the meatloaf. He brought some out for the burger, and I was particularly impressed by the burger once it was smeared in that fancy sauce.
The lettuce was crisp, the onions were solid. Somehow, the simplicity was a feature, not a flaw as it could easily have been (and often is in the hands of lesser chefs).
Fries: 7.7
We had a lively debate as to whether or not the fries we had here were the best fries we have had thus far in our journey. It wasn’t until the end of the meal when one of our team identified the “secret sauce”: vinegar.
Now I am a strong believer that offering a bottle of vinegar alongside your fries is a good indication that your establishment deserves to be burned to the ground. Maybe I’m just a holdover from the American Revolution (those British and their “fish and chips” with a side of vinegar…). However, it seemed like the fries were brined in vinegar before their final frying, and it really worked.
The fry sauce was an additional benefit that took this meal over the top. Rarely do I encounter a burger meal that doesn’t need ketchup. This was one of those few.
Environment: 8.1
Now it’s worth mentioning that it’s almost cliche to take a warehouse and make it industrial-chic. However, any environment that makes you comfortable, facilitates a great time, and ensures there are not detractions from your meal is going to score well with our crew.
One of our members wishes we had enjoyed the bar area because it seemed like a lot of fun over there (if that smell hadn’t run us off). I am confident that hanging in those couches, oriented toward each other with a communal-feeling eating area made this the ideal Karrikin eating experience.
Like a good comedian who waits until the audience has had a few drinks before starting up their jokes, Karrikin also knows that you should imbibe a few to really catch the benefits of their experience.
Menu: 7.9
This is always a tough category to judge. Sometimes we skip it; sometimes we throw numbers out randomly pretending they mean something.
In this case, the high marks on the menu reflect the interesting panoply of options presented to the diner. We left a little sad that there were so many things on their menu we didn’t have a chance to try. That’s a pretty good sign if you ask me…
Value: 7.7
Once again the hit to the pocketbook was pretty strong. There are so many drinks to try. Tapas-style establishments are always pricey compared to a traditional menu.
Because of that, it is very impressive to me how highly we scored this category.
What it comes down to: as we paid the bill, we all thought, “Yeah, that works.” No regrets.
Now, we did order too much food — but that’s not Karrikin’s fault. Some members *cough* Steve *cough* simply need to listen to their wiser peers when ordering food…
Enjoyment: 9.0
I’ll try not to go on too long about the factors that led to such a high enjoyment score. There were many:
Our conversation with our server regarding our shirts, our burger club, what we were ordering, everything, really stood out.
One of the chefs came out after the meal and chatted with us for a while about Karrikin, his favorite burgers, his life story… It was great. JB - keep up the great cooking!
When we heard about the dessert option of Bread Pudding, we knew that was going to happen. The chef recommended it from across the bar, and she cooked it. I don’t know if she put in extra love for us or if she can consistently prepare the world’s best bread pudding every time, but I suspect it is the latter.
So romantic.
Their drinks were great (we recommend the rye and the New Zealand IPA). However, why they serve their drinks in tubs instead of glasses is a bit of a mystery…
Rating Guesstimate: 8.6
This is an excellent example of an instance where the total is more than the sum of its parts. When you step back and look at the forest for the trees, you realize the forest is friggin’ sweet.
I think one of my favorite aspects of this place is the approachable nature of the entire experience. When you step back and think about my earlier comments regarding the poor first impression, another way to interpret it is this place is very accessible, unassuming. Karrikin is nice without being pretentious, high-quality without being stuck up, classy without making you feel outclassed… (They do have many leather-bound books…)
Overall: 8.1
Even though Karrikin didn’t provide the best first impression, they are committed to underpromise and over-perform. They have a great burger, cooked to perfection, in an enjoyable environment that also happens to be the most comfortable seating we’ve experienced.
I will be honest. I’m a little concerned that the seven folks who founded this place forgot the critical factor: Location, location, location. I suspect even people who have thoroughly enjoyed Karrikin sometimes forget it exists.
Don’t let this place flounder! Don’t let it go under! Great food, great environments, and great drinks must be preserved!
For all I know this place is not struggling, but after eating their burger in an almost-empty dining room…
A well-balanced experience that didn’t have any individual factor dragging it down spells a strong addition to the array of Cincinnati burgers. One that deserves to stay.
More About Karrikin Spirits Co.:
Bonus quote:
Teddy Roosevelt, discussing the criticism we received for… well, our criticisms: It is not the Cincinnatian with an opinion who counts; not the one who loves Skyline for some unclear reason aside from tainted childhood tastebuds, who points out how the foreigner to Ohio stumbles, or where the taster of burger could have tasted these burgers with more voracity. The credit belongs to the Virginian mother or the Iowan geologist or the questionable Californian or Texan father who makes impeccable decisions and is not intimidated by any price tag, who is actually in the battle with the burger at hand, whose face is marred in fixin’s, pickles if you so prefer, onions sautéed or raw, tomatoes soggy or ripe off the vine, American or any other cheese that does not contain confusing holes provided by the neutral people, soggy French fries or even crinkle if the establishment so dares, dripping in the meat sweats, and the one who is willing to face a potential marital battle should their burger bill come above $68 which could threaten their child’s daycare meal plan, however the burger member strives valiantly; who errs in his commentary or exaggeration, who comes short of finding the perfect burger again and again, because there is no search for the perfect ground patty or elk patty or bison patty or even the short rib patty without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the tasting late into the evening or deep into the break of dawn; who finds great energy when in the company of 3 other wonderful burger tasters, the great commitment to the art of unbiased burgers analysis; who dresses themselves in unwashed blue shirts with the scent of American meat; the burger taster who at their core knows in the end the journey for the perfect burger, not the destination is what matters, and who at the worst may be a bit too critical or not even share where they are sitting at the upcoming Gaffigan show, if the burger taster fails, at least they fail while analyzing the burger without a hint of corruption or external influence from the local Skyline afficianadi, so that burger taster’s place in history shall never be with those cold and timid souls who feel the Gas Light burger is worthy of any top burger list.